ZOMBIES!!!!

You don't need claymores Swede. Stop and pick you up some propane tanks stuff them in a garbage bag along with some nasty stuff like nails, screws and what ever else you can find. Stop by the meat section of Pigly Wigly and get you some bait to throw around it and back off about 500 yards with your 308 and some steel core bullets ( so it will make a nice spark) light you up a mess.
Only draw back is the Game and Fish will probably get involved with the whole bait thing and will require a license, hunter orange, and approved zombie legal shooting hours.

I need to get one of these

Zombies ain't real!
Politicians are. What yall gonna do now?

Politicians are worse than zombies... Zombies are evil and mindless, politicians are evil with a plan!!

bigsig wrote:Zombies ain't real!
Politicians are. What yall gonna do now?

At least zombies are willing to admit that they have no (functioning) brain....

X-Ring wrote:You don't need claymores Swede. Stop and pick you up some propane tanks stuff them in a garbage bag along with some nasty stuff like nails, screws and what ever else you can find. Stop by the meat section of Pigly Wigly and get you some bait to throw around it and back off about 500 yards with your 308 and some steel core bullets ( so it will make a nice spark) light you up a mess.
Only draw back is the Game and Fish will probably get involved with the whole bait thing and will require a license, hunter orange, and approved zombie legal shooting hours.

Not a bad idea! But I think you will need a tracer or incinduary round to ignite it. Tryed this years ago on Ft. Hood with a 7mm Magnum, and it just made a hole and went up in the air.

Well, to just tell the plain truth, I haven't had much use for ol' Ralph since last fall, when I caught him raking his leaves under the fence to my side. And I have to assume that his wife Mable, the renowned neighborhood gossip, has already succumbed to his bites, since the slacker managed to kill my dog...

So, I'm gonna grace good ol' Ralph with some double ought buck outta my Mossberg, then grab the Rock River Arms AR 15 to disperse the brain suckers on his heels. I'll load up the family into the truck, since I have too many ground floor windows to board up, and we'll plow through them as I get the kids to load up all my 1911, XD, Sig, and HK mags. After that, we'll just have to see...

If I get to feeling particularly cruel, I'll put some of 'Neck's Barbara Streisand 8 track tapes on loudspeaker. Mass destruction!

I'm gonna strap down w/ my 1911 strong hand , my XDM-9 weakhand , and my Uberti .357 cattleman stuck in my waist band . Over the shoulder goes the Winchester 670 carbine ( I used to shoot the tannerite if ya'll were at the meet and greet ) and the 870 express . Is that too much ? . . . Naa this is gonna be fun see yall at Neck's . BTW zombies would be good IPSC practice .

Man thats a easy one...

If you watch Zombieland you will be an expert......


Rule 1: Cardio: This one comes up in Zombieland and clearly makes alot of sense. How many fat people do you see at the end of the world when its zombies doing the ending?

Rule 2: Beware of Bathrooms: Really not just bathrooms any good apocalyptic zombie survivor should know better then going into a bathroom, small closet or any other small room with only one way in or out. Only thing stupider to go into then a bathroom is a movie theater. Lots of places to run around before you get eaten.

Rule 3: Seatbelts: Its a safe bet unless your a complete dumb dumb ( see rule #7 ) your not going to be hoofing it on foot in the event of a zombie outbreak. So when travelling on four wheels wear your seat belt. Nothing worse then finding yourself ejected out of your car into the loving and oh so hungry arms of zombies.

Rule 4: Doubletap: Carrying a gun is a great idea but it should never be your primary weapon. When you do end up using it for that last minute 'oh s**t' moment remember to double tap. Its an emergency and thats why your using it and not your cricket bat so why skimp? One bullet more in the head will go a long way to ensuring your survival.

Rule 5: No Attachments: This is a tough one but you can not have attachments. If you got kids or a wife your less likely to survive then the gal or guy who has no attachments and nothing slowing him or her down. Or worse yet making bonehead decisions like 'going back into the room'

Rule 6: Travel in a Group: The best way to increase your odds of survival when travelling in a zombie outbreak is to make sure your a traveling buffet. Going it alone gives the zombies no choices but to eat you. Going it with the old man with the limp, the little kid who cant run and the middle aged woman with the plastic leg gives the zombies more options and you better odds you can run away faster then they can.

Rule 7: Keep the Dumb Dumbs Close at Hand: One of the most sure fire ways of making sure you survive is keeping the less intelligent as close at hand as possible. When you find somebody who asks you 'Whats going on? What Happened? Those are the ones you want with you. That way when the zombies come they are likely to stupid to realize its not Amway calling and run.

Rule 8: Kill with Efficiency: Its not about pretty its about efficiency. Alot of folks run for the gun cabinet where as the truly savvy go looking for the most blunt and effective way to destroy the brain. That can be anything from a baseball bat... to a toilet lid! Kill with Efficiency... dont use weapons that need something to work and use weapons you can swing over and over and over again. You dont tend to run into 1 zombie at a time.

Rule 9: Guns Are for Hunting, Not for Zombie Killing: This one is simple. Guns need bullets. When your running who has time to stop for bullets? Keeping a shotgun with buckshot on hand is important but only when your pinned in and need a quick getaway. Its not a proper means for killing zombies as they run out of ammo and need reloading. Remember a Cricket Bat, or Toilet Lid do not need loading!

Rule 10: Be Quiet: Its the end of the world as you know it so try to avoid squeeling like a 4th grade school girl and perhaps invest in some good sneakers. Nobody said you have to kill all the zombies and there is certainly no shame in sneaking around and surviving versus tearing around like a madman and ending up being an undead happy meal.

Rule 15: Know Your Way out! Nothing worse then a poorly planned escape. If your going to be a hero its always a good idea to plan ahead and as the rule states.. know your way out!

Rule 17: Don't Be a Hero: The hot chick who was totally gonna give you some is not worth becoming the undead. So when the going gets rough and the hot chick is about to get undead... its time to flee. No making a stand no ending up a brave zombie. Better to be a chicken liver live guy.

Rule 18: Limber Up: When either fighting a zombie or running from zombies its not a great time to be pulling a muscle or throwing your back out. So limbering up is kind of a must. Stretch it out a little.. it may save your life.

Rule 19: Blend in: Much as Shaun did in Shaun of the Dead its important to blend in. Whens the last time you saw a zombie try to eat another zombie? not easily done but with the right odor and smearing of goo on your face it can happen.

Rule 20: Find The Right Shelter: Shelter is key to survival but since we are already travelling in a group you should ask yourself why the shelter needs to be stationary. For me a motor home or large all terrain vehicle that seats a half dozen would do nicely. Plus when zombies arrive in your neighbourhood there is no last minute scramble to pack and leave. Just put it in drive and roll!

Rule 21: Zombies cant Climb. Much like you have never seen a zombie eat another zombie whens the last time you saw a zombie climb a wall? Well other then the debacle that was the remake of Day of the Dead which had spiderman zombies. Zombies can climb so find high ground if you do need to stop.

Rule 22: Be ruthless: Much like having no attachments being ruthless is key. When your bride turns into the undead, reach for the lid to the toilet seat and be ruthless. The weak and compassionate will not survive in the world of the undead.

Rule 23: God Bless Rednecks: Rednecks are loud, brash, well armed and ready to kick ass now and ask questions later. So when a redneck shows up in your group half drunk and rumbling louder then your humvee welcome him. Sure rednecks can attract zombies but they also are well armed and kill a whole lot of em when they do come for dinner. Best of all they are good bait for you to make your exit while he is making a mess of the zombies and before he realizes he just ran out of bullets and does the happy meal groan.

Rule 24: No Drinking. This one should be pretty plain obvious. Escaping zombies is tough enough as it is. How well do you think you will do after downing a couple shots of Jack Daniels? Drinking is not a good survival tactic.

Rule 31: Check the Back Seat. I cant tell you how many times somebody has eaten it or in this case been eaten because they are just not smart enough to check the back seat. Always check the back seat friends. Always!

Rule 32: Enjoy the Little Things: Its the end of the world. Dont sweat the small stuff. Loot a neighbourhood or two, trash a car, speed! Do the little things and enjoy em. Who knows how long you have to live!

nonnieselman wrote:Man thats a easy one...

If you watch Zombieland you will be an expert......


stuff....

Spectacular!

slabsides45 wrote:If I get to feeling particularly cruel, I'll put some of 'Neck's Barbara Streisand 8 track tapes on loudspeaker. Mass destruction!

Oh that would be cruel, even for zombies.